I’m not really sure if I make good use of social media or not. I don’t know anymore if they are good for me or if they enslave me. I was reading in an article:

“Technology has the power to initiate, build and maintain a relationship, but also the power to damage it. It depends on how we use that tool. And here, paraphrasing the French writer Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, perhaps it is worth remembering that the essential is invisible to social networks.” [1]

It is true, the essential is invisible to social networks. The essential happens in the heart of each person and cannot be seen, cannot be judged from the outside and cannot be interpreted. My truth dwells in the innermost part of my heart. Maybe that is why it is not absolutely necessary for me to upload everything to my social networks, to expose myself shamelessly.

I don’t need to waste hours watching what others post on social networks without focusing on what I really want to do. How much time I waste in vain! I don’t need to have many followers and I don’t want to be concerned about what they think of me, what they comment, what they write.

There are a lot of haters out there who don’t do me any good with their comments. But I’m the one who gives them power over my mood.

I don’t need the approval of thousands to be happy. I don’t need the unconditional support of hundreds of strangers who follow me among many and are not really important in my life.

What do I really use social networks for?

This question emerges in my heart: What am I looking for behind what I post? Every day I look at myself in the mirror and wonder about my true intentions.

Am I capable of disengaging, of living without social media, of disappearing for an indefinite period of time? That’s when I realize how attached I am to living exposed.

It’s as if whatever is not captured on the networks has not happened. What image of my life do I want to transmit to those who follow me? What photos do I upload? What do I expect them to say, to feel when they look at my life, the life of my family and friends?

Maybe I have lost my modesty and I don’t care what they feel or say. Or maybe I live as a slave to the reactions of many whom I neither know nor love.

Social networks are a great tool for life. Thanks to them I get to be closer to people who are far away. I know their whereabouts, what they are doing, what they are going through.

But sometimes I feel that there is an opposite effect with those who are closer. I can be absorbed in my cell phone communicating with people who are far away, while neglecting and not listening to those who are sitting next to me.

How often do the most intimate relationships suffer from the enslavement that my addiction to social networks can cause!

Moreover, the bonds created on networks are not too deep. They are flexible and can be very weak. I was reading the other day:

“Social networks represent a structure that connects and disconnects at the same time; that is, there is the equal possibility of being available or not as a legitimate choice (Vespucci, 2006). Therefore, engagement is something fluid and lax that can cease to be consistent at any time, as one has the legitimate choice to choose to be connected or not.” [2]

I can either be there or not. To connect or to disappear. And my bonds become weaker:

“In postmodern society, young people talk about ‘connections’ instead of ‘relationships’, they talk more about ‘networks’ than ‘couples’.
This is because social networks entail a lack of commitment by virtue of the fact that they connect people so easily that it is also easy to disconnect, in contrast to the mutual commitment involved in face-to-face couple relationships.”

The bonds are very weak and can be easily broken. There is less commitment, less emotional charge. It all starts very quickly and intensely. But it can just as easily fade away.

Authenticity

I believe in the power of social networks. I can learn a lot and in a very easy and comfortable way. I can be in connection with many people who live far away. I can share my life with people I love who are far away. All of that is a huge asset, a gift.

I don’t go back to the past, I don’t escape from the reality I live in. But I want to do it well, freely, committed.

I want to be truthful and authentic in everything I publish. I want to engage in healthy relationships through the networks.

I don’t want to neglect those who are closest to me, those I share my day with, those I look at face to face.

I don’t want to waste my time constantly scrolling through images. I don’t want to fill myself with what doesn’t fill my heart, only my senses. I don’t want to waste my life on superficial things that don’t educate me, that don’t give meaning to my life.

Social networks are neither bad nor good. Like most of the advances of humanity everything depends on the personal use I give them.

I want them to help me grow in my personal relationships. I want to reflect on the role they play in my life. I want everything I publish to speak of my truth, of my life as it is.

I want to give a yes to this way of living connected, but without ever disconnecting from those around me.

Source: es.aleteia.org

Translation: Maribel Acaron

[1] Arola Poch, Between ‘Likes’ and insecurity: how social networks affect couple relationships

[2] Couple problems caused by social networks in college students in Mexico City. Cristina Lozano Marroquín, Sofía Antón Espinosa, Valentina Escamilla Mora and Miriam Wendolyn Barajas Márquez.